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 I had a terrible night. It took me nearly 4 hours to get to sleep. All these thoughts were going round in my head, mostly dark, but some good. I had this one weird thought, where I was convinced I could count the hairs on my head. I was wide awake. I decided to write all my thoughts down in a notebook, but I ended up stabbing a hole through it with my pen.

I feel stuck. 

I can't get a job.

"Oh, no, but you can get a job, your just not trying."

I want people to understand, but I know they can't, if I don't make them understand. I can't find the right words.

I don't feel ready.

But nobody can understand that, because on the outside, I look fine.

I'd do anything to be happy and have a good job, earning good money. 

But I can't quite get there. And turn that fucking corner.

I have so much more to say.

All this is probably making no sense whatsoever.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Apr. 1st, 2008 03:46 pm (UTC)
*more hugs*
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )